...I only said it would be worth it

Last Monday the Bishop's wife called me and asked me for a "huge favor." She told me about an inactive lady in our ward who had a sister who was dying of cancer. The family needed someone to stay the night with her to help her with anything that she might need. I said that I would be willing to help. Sister Monney told me a little about the circumstances of the family and the condition of the house, so I was slightly prepared for my experience but it turned out to be much different.

Suzie (the woman with cancer) was almost completely bed ridden and because of her size needed me to pull her out of bed to go the bathroom and even lift her legs up to put them back in. The cancer had made her so weak that getting out of bed to go to the bathroom took everything out of her and it took her about twenty minutes to catch her breath again. She lived in a trailer that was completely infested with cockroaches. They were climbing everywhere. On the walls, the floor...the bed. I would lay in the other bed in the room with her and wrap myself in the blanket, praying that the roaches wouldn't crawl on me and wishing someone was there with me to hold me. Just as I would start to fall asleep she would call for me to help her out of bed, wipe her, help her back into bed, and hold her hand as she prayed, "Dear Lord Jesus Christ, help me." By the time morning came tears were flooding my eyes, whether it was with pity or exhaustion I am not sure.

On Saturday at Cumorah's baptism Sister Monney told me that she had been by to see Suzie that morning and she had told her how much she loved me. I knew i needed to go see her. That afternoon I took some of the flowers that J* gave me for my birthday and my violin over to see her. In the days that had passed her condition had deteriorated considerably, her speech was slow and slurred and her eyes were blurry. I took out my violin and played for her. I have never played like that before. I really don't think that it was me playing. When I left I gave her a hug and she held my face in her hands and stroked my hair and said over and over, "you are my beautiful angel."

Sister Monney called me Monday morning and told me that Suzie had died Sunday morning. This has been the most humbling experience of my life. I am so grateful for my health, my family and mostly that I was able to share something with Suzie before she died. Really, every single dollar for lessons, every single minute of practice- it was all worth it for this, if nothing else.

It has been about a year now...

...and it feels great! I love Texas and I don't want to leave any time soon.

I recognize that I haven't posted in forever and I apologize. It is sad that what made me want to post was seeing my name slip to the bottom of Allison's blog list, but whatever it takes...

Things are good. I have decided to become a teacher (hopefully). Even though I love chemical engineering and I loved being one, during school I always thought it would be an amazing thing to be a teacher and maybe this is my opportunity to do that for myself. I think I will eventually go back to chemical engineering, but this seems like a good adventure. Plus, then I can stay in Victoria...

Yep, I have reason to stay in V-town :)

PS I have recently decided that I need to attend the Kentucky Derby before I die. And I do believe many of you need to come with me...with the hats and dresses, too.