"Tender"

So, here are the pictures of Julian and I in Houston:

I look a little stoned in this one. Please keep in mind it was seventeen hundred degrees...celcius

At least my mommy loves me.

Houston, we have a problem

Once again my primary motivation for posting is the fact that i am slipping in allison's blog roll:

Yesterday, Julian and I drove up to Houston to the NASA space center. Umm, it is out of this world (forgive the pun.) Although it seems to be more geared toward children than adults, it was still pretty amazing. There were rocket engines, space station modules, and even a shuttle landing simulation (Julian crashed the shuttle.) I think the coolest part was the gigantic warehouse that holds parts of the Apollo rockets. Since you can get right up next to it you can really see how big those things are and the vast amount of engineering that goes into them...quite impressive really. All in all, it was a fantastic day and when i got home my kitties were very happy to see me.

ps Julian and I finally took a picture together. It is one of those "hold the camera out and smile in a way that makes my mommy proud" pictures, but still... I will post it later

...I only said it would be worth it

Last Monday the Bishop's wife called me and asked me for a "huge favor." She told me about an inactive lady in our ward who had a sister who was dying of cancer. The family needed someone to stay the night with her to help her with anything that she might need. I said that I would be willing to help. Sister Monney told me a little about the circumstances of the family and the condition of the house, so I was slightly prepared for my experience but it turned out to be much different.

Suzie (the woman with cancer) was almost completely bed ridden and because of her size needed me to pull her out of bed to go the bathroom and even lift her legs up to put them back in. The cancer had made her so weak that getting out of bed to go to the bathroom took everything out of her and it took her about twenty minutes to catch her breath again. She lived in a trailer that was completely infested with cockroaches. They were climbing everywhere. On the walls, the floor...the bed. I would lay in the other bed in the room with her and wrap myself in the blanket, praying that the roaches wouldn't crawl on me and wishing someone was there with me to hold me. Just as I would start to fall asleep she would call for me to help her out of bed, wipe her, help her back into bed, and hold her hand as she prayed, "Dear Lord Jesus Christ, help me." By the time morning came tears were flooding my eyes, whether it was with pity or exhaustion I am not sure.

On Saturday at Cumorah's baptism Sister Monney told me that she had been by to see Suzie that morning and she had told her how much she loved me. I knew i needed to go see her. That afternoon I took some of the flowers that J* gave me for my birthday and my violin over to see her. In the days that had passed her condition had deteriorated considerably, her speech was slow and slurred and her eyes were blurry. I took out my violin and played for her. I have never played like that before. I really don't think that it was me playing. When I left I gave her a hug and she held my face in her hands and stroked my hair and said over and over, "you are my beautiful angel."

Sister Monney called me Monday morning and told me that Suzie had died Sunday morning. This has been the most humbling experience of my life. I am so grateful for my health, my family and mostly that I was able to share something with Suzie before she died. Really, every single dollar for lessons, every single minute of practice- it was all worth it for this, if nothing else.

It has been about a year now...

...and it feels great! I love Texas and I don't want to leave any time soon.

I recognize that I haven't posted in forever and I apologize. It is sad that what made me want to post was seeing my name slip to the bottom of Allison's blog list, but whatever it takes...

Things are good. I have decided to become a teacher (hopefully). Even though I love chemical engineering and I loved being one, during school I always thought it would be an amazing thing to be a teacher and maybe this is my opportunity to do that for myself. I think I will eventually go back to chemical engineering, but this seems like a good adventure. Plus, then I can stay in Victoria...

Yep, I have reason to stay in V-town :)

PS I have recently decided that I need to attend the Kentucky Derby before I die. And I do believe many of you need to come with me...with the hats and dresses, too.

Lately-

I think I might start with the Inauguration of Obama... Honestly, I could care less. I didn't watch the speech or any part of the parade, and especially not the first dance at the Ball. I was in a meeting during the whole thing and yes, I read the address online so don't think I am un-American. I just don't care anymore, plus it is too late to offer any commentary on the address at this point in the game. However I will mention that I am annoyed and even gravely concerned with the celebrity that Obama has achieved. He is the president of the USA, not Hugh Jackman. Keep in mind he hasn't done anything yet. But this picture from the Inauguration really made me laugh. Can you guess why?

Here is a tid-bit of info that might be surprising to some of you (considering my father often refers to me as a Bolshevik): I voted for John McCain, and what is more, I voted for Ron Paul. Wrap your mind around that one, but yes it is true. Good ol' RP is my representative and he ran unopposed and I am just not one of those people.

J-Bell: Andrea mentioned the famous "happy noise" in conjunction with my previous post about Joshua Bell. I of course made that noise (again, very hard to describe unless you have heard a velociraptor recently), but it came at a very unexpected time. I was in the office of some of my co-workers talking about the Joshy and they were trying to convince me that some fiddler on you-tube was better. I made them watch some concert and the moment he walked out on the stage with the conductor, "ARAAGGHHAAAUUU!" Russell nearly fell out of his chair. It felt really good to have such a huge release of excitement, I am pretty sure I haven't 'happy noised' in at least 10 months. Anyway, the concert was beyond amazing. I have never heard anything as beautiful in my entire life and that fingered harmonics section was impeccable.

The job: let's say it like it is. This whole situation really sucks and there are a lot of unanswered questions that run through my mind constantly. I really thought that I would stay my whole career with Dow, obviously that is not the case anymore, but I still believe I was suppose to work here. This is my last week at work and even though I become more disenchanted with Dow everyday, I weep just thinking about leaving the people here. I am dreading saying those goodbye words at the safety meeting on Thursday.

My little dears: They are cuter than ever, especially now that Phineas' chlamydia infection has cleared up. I really love the mornings that I am home and I get to watch them play and wrestle. They have figured out that a really good "uncle" move is to bite your opponent between the legs. Boys will be boys. Over the last two days Phineas has destroyed two rolls of paper towels and swats at Reuben when he tries to get in on the fun. But when it is time to settle down they both love their mommy time that is full of cuddles and kisses.

Baby white tigers: I saw an alligator at the park yesterday and it made me feel like I am more of a baby jaguar kind of person. I think it might have been when the alligator was going for the snake but dropped it mid-meal. I don't know, I am still undecided. Actually, I think I am just insecure playing limbo at rollerskating rinks. Unless of course Sterling is there doing the Baby White Tiger.

Church: I love my callings, to the MAX!!! I love doing singing time. Those kids have the most beautiful voices I have ever heard. I will really miss them. Yesterday at church was pretty special. First, during sacrament Stormy grabs my shoe and takes a huge whiff of it. "Stormy, what the heck?" "What? it doesn't smell bad. But, let me tell you, don't smell Cumorah's! She barfed on hers on Friday." Then before sunday school I went out to my car to get my scriptures and it was a bit windy. My skirt definitely flew all the way up. It reminded me of the wonderful time in SLC with Sterling, except I wasn't as in tune with the spirit:) What a good sunday!

When through the deep waters I call thee to go-

Last year about this time I got a grant for my research from BYU and a job offer from DOW on the same day. Exactly one year from that day I am in a situation I never expected to be in, but because of the the many blessings that I have been given in my life I know that Heavenly Father will provide a way for me.

Fear not, I am with thee,

oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

All I have to do is dream-

Only three more sleeps! I can hardly stand it.